No, I dont think it’s my ego speaking or some sorta desperate workplace fantasy either. I really think she does. Not that I’m some sorta smooth operator (even though I am), but I have had these hunches for a long time. She is always flirty with me, and whenever I say i have to lose weight she always says I’m fine, and talks about how she likes older men and how she loves latin guys, yadda yadda yadda. I’m not the type to really ever think that girls like me and I usually dont ever notice it when they do, but i am getting the vibes big time. She always tells me i’m the best boss ever, that if I leave the company to take her with me, that i’m so cool cuz I’m creative and in a band yet have a skilled hi-tech job etc. I figured she is just trying to score points, but then i dont know. God how retarded would I look if she ever found this blog and it wasnt the case and she thought i was gross the whole time?? hahahaha if you ever read this R, SORRY! But if I am right you better tell me! If i wasnt married I’d probably try to tear it up! She’s 10 years younger than me and a looker. Speaking of tearing it up, it reminds me of when I nailed my ex girlfriend once in my cubicle at my old job. I wonder how many people have actually done that… probably more than we think. Anyways next week i gotta go to gay paree for work. fun yet not so fun. I’ll elaborate more next time.
Every morning as I drive to work I pass the airport on my left, and every morning as I sit in traffic waiting for the toll light to change on the overpass with all the other rats in the race, I look over and see the luggage being loaded into the Hawaii Air jet. It sits there on the tarmac and taunts me. It mocks me. Not that I need to go to hawaii at any one point in my life, but just what it represents. While I’m in my car going to my job, somebody is in a terminal, ticket in hand, ready to fly off for the time of their life. Yay for them! Boo for me!
Anyways I interviewed last week and said all the normal shit that one says when they’re trying to impress bitches enough to make them believe you’re the one. I fooled my current employer enough for them to keep me 6 years, i hope I can fool another one enough to get a fatter paycheck and free lunches. Anyways I must be a good bullshitter cuz I thought they were gonna hire me on the spot. Either that or I have seriously lost the ability to read a motherfucker. Anyways if I get this offer I might take it. It would allow me maximum laziness. The commuter train station is across the street from my house and stops in the parking lot of this company. How sweet is that. At least I won’t have to look at the fucking Hawaiian Air jet any more.
I also talked to one of my old bosses about going over to his company. I might do that too. I don’t know. My job has been sucking and people are jumping ship like rats on the titanic. Some of the people i work with are fucking wack. Too bad I don’t have the time to go into it tonight. maybe tomorrow night.
My wife is asleep on the couch with that documentary about Daniel Johnston on the Tele. What the fuck was wrong with that guy? Poor bastard.
It’s 12:19AM and I am up on my computer like a fool. My wife went to sleep a few hours ago and I can’t get enough of my damn computer. I work on one all day and come home and fool around on one all night. what’s wrong with me? Well to my credit, it might be becasue i just got this one last weekend. Well actually last monday…. or no it was this monday. I called in sick to work because A. I never call in sick. I like punishment apparently. B. I would much rather spend my time, particularly my Mondays at home with my wife just vegging out. and C. Because the past two and a half weeks at work felt more like two and a half years what with our systems upgrade where everything that could possibly have gone wrong went wrong and then some more stuff decided to go wrong for added good measure. And you know you’re in good hands when your IT department has that “deer in headlights” look when you ask them for an update. And then you have your deliverables which are falling behind and then you have international partners asking you what the fuck and you keep updating them saying “maybe today?” Sometimes I feel like I should kidnap chimps from the zoo to replace our IT. No but seriously folks they are great guys. Just….well I wont go there. this time. I did however stop and look at the flowers outside and that made my trip into the office worthwhile. oh and maybe those cute little PR girls. All smiley and perky like daddy’s gonna pay for everything forever. Anna Nicole died today. Now she’s re-united with the love of her life. That old rich guy. God bless them both. Now I’ll never be able to hit it. At least I still have my Salma.
Yes indeed it most certainly is. And what do you have to look forward to? Cubicles, offsites, power point presentations, meetings, perky marketing fucks, go-getters, team-players, yes men, company men, executive power players, cubicles, senior managers, directors, directors of marketing, directors of engineering, senior directors of engineering, marketing director of engineering, senior engineering director of marketing initiatives, cubicles, synergy, excel spreadsheets, deadlines, timelines, ROI, PO, CEO, CIO, CTO, CFO, IPO, cubicles, campaigns, development, stock prices, stock splits, stock drops, buck passing, finger pointing, ass covering, layoffs, interviews, false interest in whatever the fuck that company does just to get the crappy job that will keep you off the street and out of the dumpster…..yes folks, that is what we do and what we are….trying to fool the man into thinking we actually give a shit about their company, and that we don’t mind…. no, that we love helping them get richer. We like to think that we are ddifferent, that we have a plan to somehow get out of it… that we will write the great American novel and retire, or that we’ll get into that perfect startup that will IPO at 300 bucks a share, but deep down underneath that crumbling exterior of quiet desperation, we know that we are just another drone, another cog, another one of the frenzied feeding masses….another one of the walking dead stumbling around the tombs, or cubicles, looking for the next victim to keep us afloat….if for only a short while longer. This blog is about corporate life in america. This blog is about you.
